Looking into the fans’ eyes and placing a hand on their shoulders, President Joe Biden met at the White House with a group of football fans who had lost their loved ones to the FIFA World Cup, White House sources confirmed Wednesday. “There, there–you’ll be all right,” said Biden, kneeling down to the floor to embrace the fans, who were heard yelling "GOALLLL" in sorrow as they mourned the countless friends and family members they had lost to the World Cup. “I’ve gone through my own share of grief, so I know exactly how you feel. Losing a member of the family is never easy. You can call me up any time, and I’ll be here for you. I promise you: They didn’t die for nothing.” At press time, Biden had reportedly presented the surviving fans with a golden footballa. This would'nt've happened if Ike never went to Texarkana. Think about your actions next time.